19 weeks!

Which means next week I'll be "halfway" there which means that's another 5 months to go UGH! I have been feeling much better lately. Still get nauseous at random times and I'm still constantly worried about surprise vomiting happening but at least I know I'm not gonna die if I vomit. Except for that one time that I literally choked and couldn't breathe lol. Oh the joys of pregnancy. S is being so sweet with the belly...she'll hug and kiss it and even named the baby Butter. She thinks its hilarious! She's usually write about a lot of things, the Magic winning of losing a game, or other such random things that I ask her about so I'm going with her gut on this one and saying this baby will probably be a girl. On the ultrasound picture we have up on the fridge, the giant head just makes it look like a boy and I have a feeling it might be a boy but who knows. Its exciting not to find out! I need to start thinking about birthing classes which I think are included with my care at the birthing center; I need to learn to make myself relaxed and to have a good, happy, funny and positive birth. I got the funny part down I think, it will be jokes galore! There is a lot more activity going down in my uterus which is kinda cute. Its not as crazy as S, who was going crazy at 4am which was not fun!

Finally got to go to the gym today and I felt good after. Did some cardio, abs and push ups which was at a very low impact level and baby did not mind. This has to be something I do all the time to make sure I keep my body ready for birth. Next update should be for my 20 week appt. GOOD DAY!

18 Weeks and Ultrasound

Today I went for my ultrasound, something that I really wished someone other than the ultrasound tech was there with me for. I don't know if its reading too much into horrible things that can go wrong with the baby or the fact that I've been sick for almost 3 weeks or something else, but I'm scared that something could be wrong with this baby. I made it through ok not being able to look once in a while when she went down to the legs so that I didn't find out the sex. The heartbeat was 126 which is sooo low compared to S. Another reason why this might be a boy UGH! She did have a hard time trying to get good measurements of the baby's head b/c it was being stubborn. I think she finally got a good one that was at the right place for the right measurements. I dont know how I'm goign to make it this week without knowing if everything is ok or not but I pray and hope that everything is. I do need to call my midwife about this throat pain I've had b/c its just getting very uncomfortable.

My poor baby

So last night was one sleepless night with S! She woke up around 230am crying which basically meant, regardless of the reason, that I was going to be up from then on. She kept saying her tummy hurt and I figured she just had to poo, but when she kept complaining she wanted to go to the bathroom and so she threw up. Now I can deal with a lot of gross things, and I mean A LOT! But when it deals with saliva or anything coming out of the mouth I suck! I tried to be a sweet as possible to her without hurling myself and I did it! God gave me some sort of strength or whatever it was that I'm been ok with the whole throwing up thing, as long as I cover my ears and dont hear it happening LOL. Needless to say I didn't get much sleep so I couldn't go to work in the morning, she fell asleep around 530ish and woke up at 8 or 9. No longer sick, I ignored her and she fell asleep again until around 11am. I on the other hand wasn't so lucky. I'm exhausted and I feel like I haven't slept in days, which is probably accurate. I have to keep watching her make sure she makes it to the designated puke points. I'm staying at my parents house tonight since I know that they will help me in the morning with her and maybe I can get much needed rest. She hasn't eaten much but has thrown up the little that she has. I hate this, I dont know how long its going to last and I can't do much of anything to make her feel better. Well time to try and sleep.

17 Weeks!

Well I'm making it further and further still feeling sick everyday. That just seems like opposing statements lol. I have a hard time sleeping through the night and for some reason keep waking up at the same horrible times, either 630am which is ok or 430am which is horrible since most times I cannot go back to sleep until 730ish which means I would get barely any sleep. Thus making my headaches worse. The nausea is still there, not at a lesser level, but at a steady one which gets worse at certain unpredictable times. I think I'm up to 130lb now which is my pre-pregnancy weight so basically I haven't gained anything! This baby also has a kicking timer and 11pm is the time to go INSANE! I think S is still the only one that has felt the baby kick.

This week was teacher appreciation week and we got them all a cool basket and some school supplies. Also its mothers day buying frenzy week so I finally got that done today! Bought my mom a family tree frame and had it engraved with our family name. She'll love that! I think I want peace and quite for mothers day, something I surely wont get.

Tomorrow is Friday! Which makes me oh so happy, maybe we can hit the beach or something like that. Who knows!

I've been thinking a lot about this whole natural birth versus hospital birth and the more I learn the more I'm happy with my decision to do it at a birth center. I've watched so many documentaries about the "business" of birth and how its suck a marketed thing where it should actually be just a natural process that a woman goes through. How the ceserean rates are increasing and unless you put your foot down and arent easily persuaded in a vulnerable time then you will be induced, given an epidural and possible need to have a c-section. I feel lucky, I did not want to be induced or have an epidural, but I was induced thinking that was what needed to happen and was made to feel guilty or bad about the pain that "i didn't not have to go through" which is why I opted for the epidural. I'm not saying I probably wont ask for it if not beg for it this time around but I have to make myself know that I am strong enough to work through the pain and that in reality the pain I experienced was not that bad when I asked for the epidural with S. I know that I will have the midwives with me to support me and also my husband and mom. But alas I think my body is slowing down and ready to give up for tonight. No new updates on the baby, only that I have my ultrasound next wed. I have to make sure I remind the tech that we do not want to know the sex. Then once we have that done, then we wait a week to make sure everything is healthy. I hope and pray that it is!

Good night!